


Scars to Bear

by Katyakora



Series: Killerwave Week [7]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Background Relationships, F/M, KillerWaveWeek2016, Scars, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-12
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 14:15:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7175270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katyakora/pseuds/Katyakora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where soulmates share each other's scars, Caitlin has always resented the burns on her skin and what they represent. Meeting the man who gave them to her is far from the stuff of fairytales.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars to Bear

**Author's Note:**

> For Killerwave Week 1 Day 7 - Soulmate AU
> 
> This is part of the same universe as the Coldwestallen soulmate AU I posted on Tumblr.
> 
> Sorry it's late.

Caitlin refused to let the scars define her. Most people who were born scarred spent their lives waiting, wondering when they were would meet their match, for the old wives tales all said those born scarred were guaranteed to meet their match. Caitlin did not spend her childhood fantasising about the day she saw these scars on another. She loathed every mark. Dozens of small burns, all the cuts and scrapes of a rough childhood and an even rougher adulthood. It was as though her soulmate didn’t even care that there was someone who shared their marks. What pity she may have held for her soulmate evaporated when she was told that she would never be surgeon; the scar tissue around her knuckles and the minor burns on her fingers impaired her dexterity just enough that she wouldn’t be able to perform the minute movements required for complex surgeries reliably. She went into biochemistry and experimental medicine instead, but she still harboured resentment for the person who had ruined her chosen career.

 

It didn’t help that she already had a rather bleak view of soulmateship. Her parents had been soulmates, yet as far as Caitlin could tell, they could barely stand each other. A lifetime of trying to ignore shouting matches and being used by them to get back at each other had soured her to the whole concept, refusing to believe some quirk of biology truly had any say over who she loved. Something that meeting Ronnie had affirmed for her. Ronnie, whose soulmate died when they were children, who loved her wholeheartedly despite knowing she had a soulmate out there somewhere. Who agreed with her thoughts on so-called destiny, who kissed her scars and told her she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Losing him had been unbearable, and afterward, Caitlin was even more certain she never wanted to meet her soulmate.

 

When she finally did meet him, she almost didn't realise it. Her fear was thick on her tongue, her anger a burning pit in her throat, driving her to spit venom and harsh bravado in his face. But her words seemed to delight him, as though they were playing a game and she was proving a skilled opponent. It was that spark of joy in his eyes that made her really look at him, taking every aspect of her captor in. She took in his scars, extensive burns proudly displayed for all to see, thought of how he had cheerfully burned his own hand to emphasise a point. She traced his burns with her eyes, her heart plummeting. They matched.

 

She didn't let her discovery show, holding on to every scrap of resentment she'd ever harboured for her soulmate. Finally, she could ask the question that had plagued her.

 

“You’ve got third degree burns.” Somehow, she kept her voice cold and steady. “Why didn’t you ever get skin grafts?”

 

“The fire revealed my true self,” he answered in an almost sultry purr. “Showed me who I really am.” She missed his next words as pure rage flooded her system. He wanted his scars, had made them worse despite what his soulmate, what  **she** , would have to endure. All that anger exploded when he grabbed his heatgun and asked if she wanted to see what the fire revealed in her.

 

“Oh, now you're asking permission?” she snapped incredulously. “But you didn't once think about what your soulmate wanted when you mutilated yourself  **on purpose** for the sake of 'what the fire revealed’,” she mocked his phrasing with a sneer. 

 

“Nice try, but I don't have a soulmate,” he stated almost smugly. “You need to have a soul for that.” It could have been an intimidation tactic, something to convince her he was a soulless beast capable of the worst horrors. But something in his face told her otherwise.

 

“You really believe that,” she murmured, surprise and pity written all over her face. His brow furrowed and his head flinched back slightly. He opened his mouth to retort, but his partner called his name, interrupting him. 

 

The pyromaniac huffed, like his fun had just been ruined, but got to work prepping the bomb beneath her chair, giving her a cheerful threat as he went to gag her. As he tied the rag tight, he froze. Thick fingers pushed her cheek to the side, so he could get a better look at the small line behind her right ear, revealed when the gag pulled her hair back. He just stared at it for a moment, his eyes then sliding down to her hands. In a swift movement, he was in front of her, roughly tugging the shoulder of her jacket aside until he could see the skin on her arms, the burns there unmistakable. He looked up into her fierce glare. As far as she was concerned, this changed nothing between them. He had simply proved himself to be everything she had suspected; selfish, greedy, unstable and the last person she could ever love. Yet she couldn’t help the way her heart jumped at the look in his wide eyes; shock, disbelief and naked fear. 

 

His partner called his name again impatiently from the other side of the warehouse. Mick’s eyes flicked to the side and then back to her. Quickly, before his partner might see or he might change his mind, he flicked the switch to defuse the bomb and then quickly strode towards the exit, almost as though he were running from her. Caitlin was left alone to try and untangle the mess of emotions their meeting had left her with.

 

Caitlin never told the others of her discovery. Really, it wasn’t any of their business and it wasn’t as though she really expected to see him again. Learning the identity of her soulmate had no real impact on her life. She still loathed her scars, still hated the idea of her life being dictated by fate. Unfortunately for her, the Rogues seemed to be making a habit of kidnapping team Flash.

 

“Hey, Caitlin?” Cisco began hesitantly as she examined his black eye. It had swelled impressively overnight, but it didn’t look like the bone had broken.

 

“Yeah?” she said absently as she handed him back his icepack.

 

“Um, while we were there...it was kinda weird, but um, Heatwave...he asked about you.”

 

Caitlin flinched, becoming very interested in tidying up the bench in front of her. “What did he say?” she asked, aiming for unaffected and likely failing.

 

“He just asked if you were ok…I said you were and then he just walked off. So yeah, super weird.”

 

“I wouldn’t worry about it, Cisco,” Caitlin deflected, still not looking at him.

 

“The thing is, I’ve been thinking about it, and…” he hedged, his tone apologetic. Caitlin sighed and turned to face him, knowing her friend was likely smart enough to have put it together. “...I’ve seen your arms. And I know Heatwave was in a fire...around the time you started wearing constant long-sleeves.” Cisco looked at her hesitantly, clearly ready to apologise for his ridiculous assumption. Caitlin sighed heavily.

 

“Look, it doesn’t mean anything. You know how I feel about the whole soulmate thing.”

 

“So, you’re saying he is?” Cisco clarified, barely believing he’d been right.

 

“Yeah. Found out when he kidnapped me.” She made certain to emphasise the crime.

 

“What did he say when you figured it out?”

 

“Nothing. He just left.” She shrugged. “Like I said, it changes nothing.”

 

“Well, he asked about you. So, maybe it did change something?” Caitlin didn’t answer, but she would later spend several hours thinking over his words.

* * *

As if learning that Lisa Snart was Cisco’s soulmate wasn’t shocking enough, the discovery that Leonard Snart was the third in Iris and Barry’s triad bond bordered on absurdity. Caitlin would have laughed if she hadn’t been busy trying to save the thief’s life at the time. When Mick and Lisa arrived at STARlabs, she couldn’t shake her awareness of her soulmate’s presence. He stood silently on the other side of the room, his eyes not leaving Caitlin as she worked on patching up Leonard. Cisco had sat Lisa in his chair, trying valiantly to calm his worried soulmate. Barry and Iris stood as close to the hospital bed as Caitlin would allow, just holding each other.

 

It sent a strange pain through her chest, the barest twinge of longing. She’d seen soulmates together before, had witnessed her own mother’s breakdown when her father was dying, despite the animosity they had displayed towards each other all her life. She knew how it could be, but seeing Cisco whisper soothing words and bad puns to Lisa to make her smile, seeing Barry and Iris sag in relief when she informed them Leonard would live, it all felt like a punch in the gut. Her own soulmate was right there and they hadn’t even spoken a word to each other. Despite her feelings regarding the concept of soulmates, she felt cheated.

 

There was a look of frustration on his face, like he wanted something to burn, and by the time she was finishing up bandaging Leonard, that look was getting on her last nerve.

 

“Go down to basement three, there’s a pile of junk that needs incinerating. Just don’t set off the sprinklers,” she snapped. They had piled up anything in the labs that had specifically belonged to Eobard, but no one had really wanted to go near it afterward, so it was just sitting there waiting to be destroyed. Mick blinked in blatant surprise at her unexpected command. She quirked an eyebrow at him as if to say ‘well do you want to or not?’, and his brow furrowed slightly, but he pushed off the wall and left. 

 

“Smart,” Lisa commented, an unexpected look of respect on her face as she glanced at Caitlin. “Mick doesn’t deal well with worrying. Burning stuff will help.”

 

“I don’t care as long as he’s not setting fire to my lab,” Caitlin snapped, knowing she was being irritable and not caring. With the last bandage secured, she ripped off her gloves and left the room, feeling an intense need to be alone. She wasn’t surprised when someone came looking for her a while later, but she was surprised to see who it was.

 

“Thanks.”

 

She looked up at the sound of the gruff word, to see Mick in the doorway. She’d hidden in Cisco’s workroom, sitting and staring blankly at some calculation on the board, lost in her own tangled thoughts. 

 

“Did you burn it all?” she asked, because she couldn’t really think of anything else to say. He nodded. “Then we’re even.”

 

He snorted. “Somehow, I doubt that.” He took a few steps into the room, his hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets. “Do the others know?” He didn’t clarify and she didn’t need him to.

 

“Cisco figured it out. No one else.” She didn’t look at him as she spoke. 

 

“Look,” he began with a sigh. “For what it’s worth...I’m sorry you got stuck with me.” He left before she could respond, and didn’t return to STARlabs once during Snart’s recovery. Caitlin would be lying if she said she wasn’t the tiniest bit disappointed.

* * *

One morning in May, Caitlin walked into her bathroom to be greeted by a new scar in her mirror. A pale red line cut down the left side of her nose. She huffed in annoyance that it was in such a conspicuous place, but well, she had worse scars. The bullet scar on her gut caused a great deal more concern. She had to calm herself with the reminder that all her old scars were still there, whatever had happened, he’d survived. That fact that she had panicked at the thought of Mick’s death should have surprised her, but the truth was, he was her constant. No matter what happened, no matter what she went through, no matter what she lost, her scars remained a constant. She couldn’t bear to lose that too, if only for the sake of her sanity.

 

She was surprised, when she arrived at STARlabs, to see none other than her soulmate standing in the cortex. Cisco was with him, nodding at something he’d said and pulling out his phone. Seeing Caitlin marching angrily into the room, he prudently moved to one of the side labs for his phone-call.

 

“You!” Caitlin yelled, pointing an angry finger at Mick. “What the hell happened to you? I woke up with a freaking gunshot wound this morning! Do you have any idea how worried I-” She was cut off as he unceremoniously pulled her into a hug. She froze for a moment at the unexpected gesture, but the tiny tremble in his shoulders and the warm embrace convinced her to reciprocate. She gently wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his shoulder, simply reveling in the knowledge he was alive and savouring the way his hold tightened ever so slightly when she hugged back. 

 

“Lenny’s gone,” he murmured into her hair after a minute had passed. She didn’t let go, simply tightened her own hold. “He died saving me.” Her breath hitched at that admission, the harsh knowledge of how close she had come to losing him. “He gave me a second chance. I don’t...I don’t want to waste it.” 

 

He pulled back a little from their hug, looking down at her with all his grief and pain in his eyes. It shook her, how vulnerable he was in that moment, and she knew without a doubt that this was not the man who had walked out of STARlabs months ago. This was not the man who’d kidnapped and terrified her. This man had had his whole life overturned, known betrayal and loss and was trying to figure out how to pick up the shattered pieces. She knew exactly how that felt, and for the first time since she’d laid eyes on his scars, she felt like this man actually understood her. Felt like he was her soulmate. She laid a hand on his cheek, her own tentative hope in the soft smile she gave him.

 

“You won’t.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> And that's a wrap! Had so much fun with Week 1 of Killerwave, can't wait for Week 2!


End file.
